The Eagle, the Fire and the Holly
by Kuria Dalmatia
Summary: The ghosts of past Christmases aren't always bad things for Aaron Hotchner. Spencer finds out more about Aaron's childhood. COMPLETE. Written for the FFN 2013 Christmas Exchange for Ahmose Inarus.


**Title:** The Eagle, the Fire and the Holly

**Author:** Kuria Dalmatia

**Rating/Warnings:** PG, (mild references to child abuse)

**Characters/Pairing:** Hotch/Reid, Jack

**Summary:** The ghosts of past Christmases aren't always bad things for Aaron Hotchner. Spencer finds out more about Aaron's childhood.

**ARCHIVING:** my LJ, AO3, Tumblr and FFNet account... anyone else? Please ask first.

December 2013

**COMMENTS:** Unbetaed. Written for the FFN 2013 Christmas Exchange for _Ahmose Inarus_. My assigned prompts were: the Muppet version of "Deck the Halls", fire in the fireplace, snow and holly. I hope I hit the marks.

Uncle Freddy is a recurring OC that I created as part of Hotch's backstory. As of December 2013, I don't believe Hotch has been given any canon relatives besides his parents and Sean.

Feedback always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. Salut! I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done. I'm not making any profit just trying to get these images out of my head.

* * *

"Is that… is that the**_ Muppets?_**" The question, complete with incredulous tone, is out of Aaron's mouth before he realizes it. It's been _years_ since he's heard the Muppets' version of "Deck the Halls" and given what they're doing this afternoon—decorating the house for Christmas—it's seasonally appropriate. He can't help but grin. Then, he sees Spencer's shoulders tense and his chin take on that stubborn tilt when the younger man is about to defend something he believes people won't understand.

Even after all this time, all those conversations, and everything else between them, there are always potential pitfalls. This is shaping up to be one of them. After all, Spencer looks as if he's about to lunge towards the iPod docking station on the breakfast bar.

"Wait! Wait!" Aaron holds up his hands and scurries over to the bookcase where his record albums are. There's no real order to them, especially after three moves and his music library is solely on iTunes. It takes him a few moments but he finally finds _John Denver and the Muppets_ sandwiched between—he nearly groans aloud—Linda Ronstadt and ABBA. These were never part of Haley's 80's pop-centric collection but from the three years Aaron was part of the Columbia House Record Club. Still, he grins as he slides the Muppet album from the collection and trots back to Spencer. He hands it over.

Spencer accepts the album and stares. "**_Kermit's_** signature? And... Miss Piggy? Fozzie… and... and John Denver?" He raises an eyebrow as he meets Aaron's gaze. "You have an **_autographed_ **copy of _John Denver and the Muppets_?"

"From my Uncle Freddy," he explains. "Christmas 1979. I was fourteen, technically 'too old' for something a 'childish' as the Muppets, but I loved it all the same. Sam the Eagle is my favorite and I was disappointed that he wasn't on the cover."

"Is it because you bear a striking resemblance to said eagle?" Spencer teases.

"Why would you say that?" he asks before striking a very serious, very stern pose. He holds it for a few moments, just long enough for his lover to start snickering. He starts chuckling himself. "Anyway, Uncle Freddy somehow managed to get John Denver's autograph plus a few Muppets. I never asked how he did it. Actually, I forgot all about it until I heard 'Deck the Halls.'"

Spencer nods. "It was the first Christmas music I remember hearing. When Garcia found out, she loaded it on my iPod."

"That version will definitely have less static than this," he taps the album cover. "I used to play it for Sean when he was little. Dad hated it, Mother barely tolerated it, but it made Sean laugh and kept him occupied during the Christmas parties they hosted, so they allowed it." He winces at the memory.

Spencer's hand covers his. As much as Aaron hates when he unexpectedly blurts out little parts of his past, he also knows it's because he trusts Spencer. They may fight and more often, it gets viciously nasty before one of them calls a truce, but this kind of information is never used as ammunition.

Ever.

He smiles shyly and softly at Spencer, an expression that his lover returns. Their kiss is chaste yet coveys the unspoken _I love you_ and _Thank you_ all the same.

* * *

Sometime during the first round of their relationship, Aaron ceded fire-making responsibilities over to Spencer. Aaron's an Eagle Scout and has several badges plus an Outdoor Bronze Award proving his prowess, but there's something about Spencer's approach to building a fire in the fireplace that never ceases to enthrall him.

Unlike Aaron's efforts (despite said Eagle Scout status), Spencer's builds always stay lit and last much, much longer.

Oh, and always looks picture-perfect in the fireplace.

While Aaron had planned on teaching Jack these things himself, it's Spencer who leads the lessons on fire lays and safety. Spencer explains the differences between fire lays, how a hunter's fire is better for cooking while a reflector fire is best for warmth. Aaron does admit to himself that, at first, he was a bit miffed about being denied that particular "teaching moment." Once he put aside his ego, he realizes that Spencer's more comprehensive approach is far better than whatever lesson plan Aaron could devise.

"We're building a reflector fire," Jack announces as he drops an armful of wood on the hearth. His cheeks are red from the cold. It's supposed to drop down to ten degrees Fahrenheit, with a wind chill in the single digits, and at least two inches of snow expected. Their fireplace isn't exactly designed to heat the family room, much less their four bedroom home (something that Spencer plans on changing in the Spring), but there's nothing like toasting marshmallows over an open flame. "It's not the same as a snack fire," his son continues, "but you can roast 'mallows over it. I can show you."

Before this second chance with Spencer, Aaron may have said something like, _I already know how to build a fire, buddy. I'm an Eagle Scout. See my badge?_ Even after New York, where he was nearly killed by a car bomb, or the family's ordeal with Foyet. Aaron supposes his epiphany about moments like this came after he collapsed in the conference room and underwent emergency surgery.

Actually, it was probably that _and_ Spencer coming back into his life. Aaron realized that he didn't have to be the expert at everything and that Spencer will never knowingly 'step on toes' when it comes to things with Jack.

"I'd love for you to show me, Jack," Aaron says as he kneels down by the hearth. His hip twinges like it always does nowadays, a reminder that his field injuries are finally catching up with him. Maybe he should start with that vitamin regimen that Spencer has been after him about…

Jack dashes to the backdoor, calling out, "Spencer! Spencer! We're going to show Daddy how to build a fire!"

Spencer and Jack return to the hearth and Spencer sets down a bundle of logs. His lover looks at him and asks, "We're going to show your Dad how to build a fire?"

Aaron can hear the dubious tone. He suddenly remembers one of the first arguments they had, and how Aaron attempted to end the argument with, "Which one of us is an Eagle Scout?" Spencer's retort had been predictable: "Which one of us has multiple PhDs?" It's an exchange that hasn't happened since.

Jack nods vigorously as he declares, "Yep! A reflector fire but one we can roast 'mallows over!"

Aaron gestures towards the fireplace as he gives Spencer his wide-eyed, innocent look. "Jack offered…"

For a moment, Spencer stays silent. He then kneels and begins arranging the firewood into stacks. "What's the first thing we have to do before we start?"

"Clear out the ashes!" Jack shouts and claps his hands together. Aaron swears that only Spencer can make cleaning up into a fun activity. God knows, if he tried the approach, Jack wouldn't be as enthusiastic.

"Hand your dad the shovel," Spencer says, a sly smile twitching as his lips.

There's the childish part of Aaron that wants to start an ash fight, because he realizes that he's going to be stuck with doing all the messy parts. The adult part of Aaron firmly rejects the idea. Soot is a bitch to clean up.

The father in Aaron treasures this moment, and hopes that Jack will too.

He knows Spencer will.

* * *

Rummaging through the large plastic container of Christmas ornaments in their boxes, Spencer isn't expecting to find a collection of holly leaves sealed in wax paper glued to yellowing pages. The front and back cover are simple, heavy-duty blue cardstock, the type that's typically used to bind reports. However, there's significant water damage on the back cover, but no other pages are ruined.

He can't help but analyze the printed lettering on the first two pages, estimating that Aaron must have been very young when he did this project. The letters are fat, stiff, and uneven like when a child first learns to write, which makes it a little early for Aaron to be in any type of Boy Scout activity. The Latin name and the common name are listed, but the dates and locations of where the leaves were harvested are not included. As Spencer carefully turns the pages, he notices how Aaron's handwriting matures into the familiar somewhat architectural style print that Aaron uses now. With each page, the number of pressed leaves increases by one: twelve pages with twelve varieties of holly.

Spencer estimates that the last page, the one with twelve holly leaves, must have been completed when Aaron was about sixteen.

It's like the Twelve Days of Christmas, except with different varieties of holly leaves.

It's a different side of Aaron, one that Spencer has never quite seen before. Sure, he knew that his lover knew a lot about gardening, but he ascribed that to owning a house with Haley and being responsible (in some capacity) for the landscaping. This? This twelve-year project is from Aaron's childhood.

Spencer digs through the rest of the container, hoping that there are more clues. He finds two boxes of older ornaments, teardrop-shaped glass with rusted ornament hooks, but unlike the rest of the Christmas items, nothing is written on the outside of the boxes indicating a date or whose they may have belonged to. The final item is a Topsiders shoe box. Inside, Spencer finds sixteen badly tarnished brass ornaments. They are flat cutouts including a Christmas tree, a wreath, a sleigh, and a snowman. All have Aaron's name and a year etched in machine-cursive, the dates spanning from Aaron's birth year to 1981.

Jack has several ornaments like this as well. Just this year, Aaron gave his son a brass snowflake.

Based on the two times Spencer helped Aaron move (once out of the apartment where Foyet attacked Aaron and then to the four-bedroom house the three of them now share), he knows that Aaron methodically goes through all his belongings to determine if he really needs it. The container itself looks relatively new; there are very few scratches on it and the lid isn't dusty from sitting in storage for a long time.

Spencer is curious, but wary of asking Aaron directly about it. Neither is keen on sharing their childhood experiences, despite the trust that continues to grow between them. The ornaments will be an easier conversation; clearly Aaron and Haley or someone in their family carried on the tradition of dated brass ornaments. The book? Well, that was going to be a challenge.

Of all the stories Aaron tells about his Uncle Freddy, collecting and pressing holly leaves doesn't fit in with image Aaron has painted about the German-speaking, globe-trotting, biomedical engineer. Fred Hotchner enlisted in the Army, served one tour in Vietnam before he was honorably discharged. According to Aaron, he refused to talk about his time in the service or the details on why he was discharged. The elder Hotchner insisted that Aaron learn ballroom dancing, because all true gentlemen had that skill. This same man tracked down John Denver and the Muppets to get autographs because he knew they were Aaron's favorite. Fred Hotchner is the one relative Spencer wishes desperately to meet—something that Aaron has mentioned in passing more than once—but the man died when Aaron was twenty-two.

Still, the book is important. Spencer considers his options before deciding on plan. It will be risky; they each have triggers that they're still discovering, even after all the time they spend together.

If it's a success, it's a success.

If it's a failure, it's a failure.

The greatest sin, in Spencer's opinion, is not trying at all.

* * *

It takes two weeks and far too many visits to hobby stores before Spencer finally finds what he wants: someone who can create leather-bound covers for Aaron's holly leaf book. The craftswoman is a medieval re-enactor specializing in leatherwork. The price is reasonable and the embossing is quite lovely. The woman assures him that the hardened leather is waterproof and it takes everything in his power not to explain to her that he's very familiar with "pure" as it relates to leatherworking. She assures him that she didn't used that particular method, but wax.

He doesn't receive the finished work until the morning of Christmas Eve, and thankfully the drive to her place isn't that far. Spencer carefully wraps the gift, pleased that the original cardboard covers are still part of the book (and, wow, what an argument _that_ was, because his craftswoman wanted to redo everything 'in the proper way').

Spencer waits until after Jack has been in bed for over an hour—he has learned that it usually takes Jack about forty minutes to settle down enough to fall asleep. Spencer and Aaron are sitting in front of the fireplace, elbows resting on the hearth as they sip on mulled wine. He's nervous and knows that Aaron has picked up on it. After two decent gulps, he rolls to his knees, crawls over to the Christmas tree, and plucks the red foil wrapped box from the collection of packages.

Aaron's watching him, trying to hide wariness in his eyes but not being successful at it. Maybe the mulled wine impairs Aaron's defenses more than he realizes.

"I was sorting through the Christmas boxes in the garage a few weeks ago," Spencer begins. He holds out the box, hoping his hands are not shaking as badly as he thinks they are. Aaron's guard goes up another notch; he straightens his shoulders as he sets his mug down on the hearth. Once Spencer is seated again, he continues, "It's a re-gift… of sorts."

By this time, Aaron is sitting upright, spine stiff and there's a sharp, defensive glint in his eyes. It should be unnerving as hell, but Spencer's witnessed that look before, had it directed at him on more than one occasion, so it doesn't inspire fear in Spencer. It still makes him nervous as hell.

Aaron accepts the gift, carefully sliding his fingers under the edges of the wrapping paper instead of ripping it off. It's something that drives Garcia and Morgan nuts, because Aaron doesn't rip off the paper to get to the gift. Instead, he carefully pops the tape, unwraps the gift, and refolds the paper, setting it aside before opening the gift. Spencer and the rest of the Team know damn well it's not something they can ever ask Aaron about and sometimes Spencer thinks Aaron does it just to get Garcia riled up.

Aaron places the box on his lap and opens the lid, which he sets on the side of him. A small flat, square bundle is wrapped neatly in tissue paper. With the same precision as before, Aaron unfolds the paper, revealing the freshly polished brass ornaments.

Aaron's face goes unreadable. He fans the flat ornaments out, thumb brushing over the white crystal star at the top of the Christmas tree one.

"The dates are from 1965 to 1981," Spencer prompts quietly. "Jack as a similar set."

His lover only nods faintly as he places the ornaments inside the box lid. Aaron visibly swallows as he reaches in and pulls out the second wrapped item. This time, when Aaron pulls away the flimsy white paper, tears well up in his eyes. He flexes his hands, eliciting pops from his knuckles. He takes a deep breath and opens the leather cover, then the original cardboard one.

Spencer debates on another swig of liquid courage, but decides against it. "I know it's important to you…" He stops when he sees how close Aaron is to getting up and walking away. The only thing he can offer up is an, "I'm sorry."

He wonders if it's enough.

Aaron blinks and a fat tear rolls down his left cheek. He works his jaw a few times, like he always does before telling a personal story. The silence for Spencer is agonizing, but he waits as patiently and as still as he can.

He learned years ago, that any bodily movement can trigger a complete shutdown in Aaron.

"Uncle Freddy traveled a lot for work," Aaron says suddenly, his voice hoarse. "So he bought this duplex and rented out the other side to this guy he served with in boot camp, Charles… _Chip_ Stewart." He coughs and then focuses his gaze on the fireplace. "Chip took care of both sides, especially the lawn and garden, but whatever needed done, he did it. He didn't have much family … any family really. His dad died in the Pacific Theater and he never talked about his mother. So Freddy decided that our family could be Chip's family too. My father wasn't too keen on it, but Chip _served_. You have to understand. My grandfather served in the European Theater and to not respect someone in the military was unheard of in my family. So my dad and my mom put up with Chip, although it was clear they didn't like him."

_But you obviously did,_ Spencer wants to say but remains silent.

"The ornaments were from Uncle Chip," Aaron gestures towards the shiny pieces in the box lid. "He got them for Sean, too. This…" He lifts the edge of the book, "this was something… this…" He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Spencer carefully reaches out, placing a light hand on Aaron's forearm. He's not expecting Aaron to move so that they're holding hands, Aaron's grip almost crushing. "Uncle Chip was the lawn and garden manager at Sears. He worked a lot of hours, especially around the holidays. I don't remember how the whole holly thing started, honestly." He squeezes Spencer's hand _hard_, and Spencer bites his lips to keep from gasping aloud. "But it was something he and I did every year until he passed away in '81."

Aaron finally meets Spencer's gaze, tears falling unashamedly from his eyes.

"You know… you know Uncle Freddy wasn't the same man after Uncle Chip died. I mean, when my dad died, Uncle Freddy was sad, but it wasn't in the same way. He was crushed that Chip was dead. And didn't understand what that meant until I was in law school and witnessed a similar relationship with two of my fellow students."

When the realization hits Spencer, he can't help but blurt, "They were a couple."

"Yeah."

"And given the social stigma in the Sixties and Seventies, they couldn't publicly acknowledge their relationship without serious retaliation."

"Yeah."

Another memory hits Spencer and his mouth drops open. "The third set of flowers."

Aaron releases his hand. He hitches an eyebrow. "What?"

"The third set of flowers. When you visit the cemetery… there's one set for Haley, one for Uncle Freddy… I always assumed the third set was for your father, despite the volatile relationship you had with him."

"My father is buried elsewhere."

Spencer nods. He shifts so that he's sitting next to Aaron and carefully drapes an arm around him. "I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to drag up memories…"

"They're good ones, Spence," Aaron interrupts. "And I can't tell you how many times I prayed that Uncle Freddy and Uncle Chip were my parents. I guess I knew on some level they were more than just best friends. I mean, when I used to stay with Uncle Freddy, Uncle Chip would be at breakfast in his robe and slippers. I just thought he popped in from next door."

They sit in silence for several minutes, Aaron's head resting on Spencer's shoulder. Quietly, Spencer asks, "Will you tell Jack about Uncle Chip? After all, he did start the brass ornament tradition."

"Three years ago, I would have said no."

"Three years ago, you wouldn't have told me the story."

Aaron lets out a wet laugh. He slides his arm around Spencer's back and hugs him hard. They sit quietly and watch the fire dwindle in the fireplace.

Spencer wonders if there are any more storage bins it the garage that hold more secrets and keys to Aaron's past. Then, he decides that he doesn't need them, because what he has enough already.

And maybe… maybe it's time to explain just who Aunt Ethel is.

But that will be another Christmas, or until Aaron stumbles upon something similar in Spencer's belongings.

For now, he'll savor the fact that they don't have to hide their relationship like Freddy and Chip, something he knows that Aaron covets as well.

"Merry Christmas," he murmurs.

"Merry Christmas."

* * *

**Author's Notes: ** Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

Hotch's canon birth date is November 2, 1965 despite a few conflicts in other episodes. So a majority of the references for Hotch's childhood are based on the assumption he was born in 1965 and was a teen in the late 70's and early 80's. For those not familiar with the Columbia House Record Club (and it's various incarnations), it was a mail-order club in the US where you could get 12 or 13 record albums (or 8-track tapes, or cassette tapes...) for a penny. Then, each month the Club automatically sent out the "Record of the Month". You had to fill out a card and mail it beforehand in order to stop/pause the mailings. I was a member in the 80's and absolutely terrible about sending in the 'don't mail this to me' card. It's how I ended up with some of the more oddball records in my collection.

_The Muppet Show_ debuted in the US in 1975-6, with the John Denver special airing in 1979.

Finally, I'm a former medieval re-enactor myself, so no disrespect it meant towards the craftsmen and craftswomen.


End file.
